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What would cause a Cancer man to retreat back into his shell?

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What would cause a Cancer man to retreat back into his shell?

Postby danon » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:16 pm

What would be some probable reasons??

And how to get him back out of his shell?!
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What would cause a Cancer man to retreat back into his shell?

Postby agustin » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:27 pm

Based on past experience I'd say not sharing or empathising with their emotions, if you hurt their feelings or if they felt too strongly and were scared that they would get hurt (they'd back off to let their feelings subside), those are a few things that would cause them to retreat. To get them out let them know that you care, then just leave them to deal with it in their own way. They'll come find you when they are ready.
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What would cause a Cancer man to retreat back into his shell?

Postby angvariationutoke13 » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:33 pm

He's likely just acting closed off as a defense. Cancerians, especially men, don't like to come off as vulnerable to the people who have hurt them, especially if they had previously trusted the person. It takes a lot to earn a Cancer's full trust, and a lot to break it. Since Cancers look into words and actions very deeply and read between the lines (even if there's nothing to be read), you probably hurt him in a way you couldn't predict. Maybe you said something that vaguely related to a terrible experience he casually mentioned to you once, and is mad that you could be so insensitive. Since Cancer's are excellent at reading people and have amazing memories, they assume that everyone is as perceptive, so if you forget something they told you, it's (unreasonably) your fault. It's one of the biggest faults of this sign. They strictly follow the "treat others the way you would like to be treated" rule, to the point where if you don't treat them the way they're treating you, they'll get upset and sink back into their shell. Cancerians can be incredibly confusing. Try very hard to think of something that you (or someone/something else) could've done to him to make him so blue. Don't mention the specifics unless you're sure that's what is bothering him, or else you might just remind him of something else that bothered him and get mad that you misinterpreted his frustration. If you're positive it's something you did but you don't understand how that could've offended him, don't try and reason with him, just apologize and be very sweet to him. The point is to be pro-relational, trying to logically settle things and set him straight won't help because you'll just be starting an argument with someone who's set on being mad. It's like reasoning with a wall. Cancers who are upset have an idea of exactly what needs to happen for them to feel better, and nothing else will work (that you can do, he might just need to come out of his shell on his own terms, in that case, just be very kind and supportive and put up with him being deadpan for a little while). This is a tricky situation, and in order to bring him back out of his shell yourself, it won't be a fair situation for you. All he wants is to feel better, and until he does, he'll be selfish. If you can control your own temper, swallow your pride and apologize, he'll soften and be very grateful and go back to being that selfless, caring guy that he can be. It might suck initially, especially since what hurt him will probably make zero sense to you, but he'll reward you tenfold afterwards. Just remember that the reason that he's upset isn't important, just that he is upset. If it helps, pretend he's upset about something reasonable, because once he feels better, what actually happened won't matter anymore. Just don't tell him you're doing that haha, Cancers forgive very easily if you're tactful and apologetic. Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this x)
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What would cause a Cancer man to retreat back into his shell?

Postby baeddan » Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:38 pm

If he is emotionally hurt then definitely he will go back in to his shell.

1. Talk to him clearly.
2. Ask him whats the matter.
3. Show him you do care.
4. Make him open up emotionally.
5. Reassure him.
6.Do something nice for him.
7.Hug him...:)
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