Welcome to Cancer-Forums.net!   


Useful Links:

American Cancer Society
National Cancer Institute
Cancer Definition

What To Do, Young Friend Dying With Cancer, Shall I Tell The Family?

Pancreatic Cancer Discussions

What To Do, Young Friend Dying With Cancer, Shall I Tell The Family?

Postby Dougald » Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:51 am

It seems little can be done as he has stage II-B pancreatic cancer with one lymph node involvement. He is just 29 years of age, married for 2 years with no children yet. Though the family knew he has cancer, I could not tell them the severity of the disease as they are already very upset with the mom threatening to commit suicide if something happens to her only son and the wife of the boy on the verge of complete breakdown as she is also young and does not have that much maturity to meet the eventuality. Now, his condition is taking the toll on my confidence and posture too as I find it very difficult to swallow the fact and its implications. Though some websites have encouraging details that Whipple procedure can help save the boy, it still remains a complicated issue as the doctors here are tight-lipped and are waiting for the PET scan results before they say anything for sure. Doctors claim that they are suspicious regarding the origin of the cancer. They feel that since lymph node is involved, it is very much likely the cancer has metastasized from some other source than the pancreas itself and if it is so, then saving him is almost impossible. I am so much stressed that I need somebody to open up. Can anybody here give me a good suggestion as to how to handle this situation?
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:34 am

What To Do, Young Friend Dying With Cancer, Shall I Tell The Family?

Postby Stijn » Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:57 am

So the family don't know that it is almost certainly life threatening just that he has it?

If you ask me i'd say it's up to the guy to tell the family. If he doesn't want them knowing the severity of it it's kind of his call, and you have to respect his privacy. This is something i've thought about lots if I ever got cancer, i wouldn't want anyone knowing about it.

However maybe you could talk to him about it all, if you need someone to open up to and talk to but don't want anyone else knowing he is your only port of call really.

Just make sure you talk to someone and don't bottle it up, even your own family. I recently had a similar problem where my best friend went through something horrific and i didn't know how to cope with it as it upset me lots that something so bad could happen to someone so good.
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:44 pm

What To Do, Young Friend Dying With Cancer, Shall I Tell The Family?

Postby Frank » Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:58 am

You have to tell the family, regardless that they are in horrible shape. It is better though, that your friend tells his parents. If this is life-threatening you wouldn't know how long he has left and he should enjoy this last possible moments happy and being with friends and family. His family has to deal with the fact that it is a possibilty that there son is going to die. You have rationalize with them. Tell the mother there is no point in suciding as this would only make the son feel worse and cause him stress. This stress could be severe with his situation. And for the treatment you must ask your friend if he wants to or not. It doesn't matter that life is hard now, right now your friend has to enjoy his life. The family has to be sensible about, they have to understand. Because everyone dies in the end, it's just the matter of time. Although the time is inconvient it is still worth a try making your friends last stay to be meaningful and happy. If it is too severe, too hurtful to to tell them, them the family this: half the truth, half the lies. They should know the truth at the very least.
Posts: 61
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:49 am

Return to Pancreatic Cancer


  • Related topics
    Last post