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What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

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What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby Beauvis » Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:58 pm

Okay, My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. two children together, two children that he has with other women. Things have been really tough on us the last 4 years or so. Child # 4 was unknown to me until he was served with child support papers on an already 6 year old child. Okay I worked past it, it happened before I met him and I wanted to make the best of thing. 2 year ago, Thyroid Cancer for him. Thyroid now removed and for a year and a half he went totally loco. I chalked it up to being a change in hormones, we went to the doctor and got it regulated. So for the last 6 months its been hit and miss. He's been great at times, but taken to humiliating me in front of friends and family now. By that I mean, degrading me, name calling, talking about the way I take care of his needs, so on and so on. I begged, embarrassing begged, for this to stop. It didn't. I left and filed for divorce. Now one month into our divorce/seperation I cheated. I cheated with someone I dated in highschool. This all happened while I did NOT live at home. Not that it justifies anything. But now we are trying to work this out. I was honest and told him the truth. But he is of course hurt and upset. On the other hand though, he was also sexting/texting my friend the entire time I was gone. He thinks he should get a free pass to go sleep with someone else now and I think it would be my friend that he is so reluctant to give up. So now I am second guessing myself. I don't know if i went back because i'm afraid of being alone or what the heck my problem is. Two weeks home and I already feel weird about things. Be honest, tell me what is wrong with me. What you would do. Of course there is so much more I could add to this but this is basically the big picture.
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Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 6:46 am

What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby Vingon » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:00 pm

First I will say that "two wrongs, don't make a right" and even the thought that he should have a free pass is a BAD sign. Second, if he is reluctant to give up this other woman, then he's NOT serious about making it work with you.

He wants to keep you on the back burner and keep you on a puppet string--Another BAD sign.

Yes, I think that you are afraid of being alone and out of your comfort zone--I was when I got divorced due to a lying, cheating husband, but I finally found out that it was worth it. I'm so much happier now.

Don't be a doormat--have some self respect.

Discuss counseling with him and if he isn't willing to "give up" this other woman--that's your sign that he isn't really wanting to "make it work" and you will end up in one heart ache after another.

Good Luck
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Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2013 7:58 pm

What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby Maxfield » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:04 pm

I could not finish reading your question...I am sorry...it bothered me way to much.
Brought back some really bad memories.
You need to read this book.
The Verbally abusive relationship.
You can get it online.
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Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:04 am

What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby Justice » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:06 pm

Funny the way you will have to point out that - my babysitter recounted the identical factor simply the day prior to this! I wager any person she is aware of has a little one or 2 with bird pox or slight signs, and he or she consistently heard the identical factor, how a few folks suppose it is higher to show them to it and feature it alternatively than vaccinating. I heard that too awhile in the past, however it is obviously no longer whatever I could move do. I individually suppose it is a ridiculous proposal. Try explaining that to the ER employees whilst you grow to be having to take your little one in for disorders stemming from the truth that you purposely uncovered them to bird pox.
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What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby MacKenzie » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:19 pm

No it wasn't wrong to go back, there is nothing wrong with you for doing that you two had a history together. Sometime we want things to work out but they don't. And if your having doubts follow your gut feeling. At least you will know that you tried to give the relationship a chance. Heck with the free pass, if he is serious about the relationship than he should work on it with you and forget about the other women. I look at it like this two wrongs do not make a right. It's like saying oh look what you did now I'm going to do it to get you back. Personally I myself would say if that's how you feel about the relationship(that you want to sleep with someone else) just to get back at me, well you just keep on getting it and by the way don't let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Because him sleeping with someone else it not going to help the relationship. Of course he's hurt and upset. So were you when he degraded you, called you names and humiliated you in front of friends and family. But only you can decide. Follow your gut feeling. Or at least try marriage counseling.
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Joined: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:48 pm

What The Heck Is Wrong With Me?

Postby Keiji » Wed Sep 20, 2017 9:23 pm

"He thinks he should get a free pass to go sleep with someone else now"

Quid pro quo is definitely NOT in order in this case. What an immature and asinine statement to make. And THIS is supposed to help the healing process?

Lady...you're married to a dolt.
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Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2014 8:16 am

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