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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Lung Cancer discussions, another of the most common forms of cancer

My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby gwyr » Wed Oct 04, 2017 12:57 am

basically, my mom lies to me about smoking. she says she never smoked and never will, always tells me never to smoke. but she smokes for absolute definite and she has previously lied straight out to my face about it. i dunno if its a big deal or why it stresses me out so much but i just hate that she lies to me and stuff. shes a good mom otherwise (although kind of stressed/i'm always stepping on egg shells around her cos she can flip like -that-) oh and she went through this weird faze of being in love with one of my dads friends and she wanted to leave us/my dad for him and stuff (she didn't tell us this, i knew something was up so i became detective and found out.) so yeah i dont really trust her and i also dont want her to get lung cancer or something and i dont know what to do and i dont know if im overreacting!? please help :( i'm 15 by the way.
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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby Anane » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:00 am

I did this for a little while, told everyone I had stopped and felt so guilty I had let everyone down by starting again I lied about it. I really hurt my daughter by lying to her and that is a huge regret but felt so ashamed I didn't know what else to do. I did come clean when the guilt got to me and my daughter asked me directly if I was smoking.

The good news is that your mom obviously feels so guilty at smoking in the first place that she wants to stop for you all so maybe you can say I know you smoke mom, if you want to stop I'd really like to support you trying but I'd rather you'd be totally honest with me as lying really upsets me.

Good luck

x
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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby Addae » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:02 am

Don't worry, it's completely natural for you to feel this way about your Mother. It's obvious that you are hurt by the fact that she has defiantly lied to you, rather than the fact she is smoking itself. I can understand how you feel as if you cannot trust your Mother in the present time because of this reason, but you have to consider that perhaps she kept the truth from you for a reason; she was afraid of you becoming hurt by her habit, was weary of you worrying or didn't actually want to face the truth herself. Sometimes, you have to sympathy with your foe or someone in which you are having a dispute with to actually resolve the problem.

I suggest that you and your Mother converse calmly over the situation at hand; avoid the blazing rows, as they only make things worse. Explain to her how you feel about the lie and her habit; perhaps the two of you can make a suitable agreement.
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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby Ahearn » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:03 am

Okay, its kinda weird how much alike our situations are. I'm fifteen too, and I just found out about my mom smoking. I'm really upset about my mom smoking also. For some reason, it really hurts. She's always lied to my face when i would confront her about it. My mom is a great mom too, and you're not over-reacting. You just don't want anything to happen to her. Just talk to her, and if she denies it, tell her that you know the truth, and it just hurts you when she lies. Don't scream at her and get in her face. Tell her how you're feeling, and if she wants to quit, help her. Email me if you wanna talk, because I'd love to help you out since I know exactly what you're going through. [email protected]
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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby Joyanna » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:04 am

oh and my parents are married and stuff and my dad knows about the smoking (how could he not?!) and i dont know if he smokes, but if he does hes a lot more subtle about it. i mean today, for instance, my mum was in a terrible mood when she came back from work. later on, she said she was going 'shopping'. came back with nothing, didnt come near me, went straight upstairs and had a bath. her coat, however, was hanging up in the hall. it reeked of smoke. and funnily enough, she was in a much better mood when she came back from her secret smoking sesh.
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My Mom Lies To Me And I Dont Know If Its A Big Deal?!?

Postby arles87 » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:12 am

I don't think you're overreacting at all. You deserve to have a stable home life and a mum that doesn't lie to you about things like that. If this is a regular occurrence, something you can do is sue her and take it to court so that your dad has full custody over you. Think it through first though.
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