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My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Talk about Stomach Cancer diagnosis, treatment and prognosis

My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Postby danakas62 » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:32 pm

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer. Basically he's dying. I live 4 and a half hours away and am currently just about 38 weeks pregnant with our first. Which we are naming after my dad. (we picked the name out as soon as we found out we were expecting... now its just kinda sad, as i'm afraid the little one will be born just for my father to die.) but that is not important.

I visited about a month and a half ago when they weren't sure what was wrong yet, and my dad seemed fine. :-/ now that hes in chemo and radiation its horrible. I fell like i'm failing because i just can't be down there very often right now. I love my dad and want to take care of him but i need to make sure the baby is healthy and happy. I went to see him sunday, drove down there in the morning and drove back at night.

So the question is i want to make my father a book, it would have pictures of him and me and the family as well as nice things said about him by the family and me. So that even if i can't be there constantly or if people can't see him in the hospital he will know that we are thinking of him and care.

Since ever one on my mom and dads side know and are supportive i feel fine asking them for pics and quotes. But i would also like to ask his friends and some of his co workers. My question is i don't really want to go around telling people for one that my dad has cancer and 2 that there is very little chance of survival.

I don't want people calling my dad and constantly saying things like i'm so sorry, and blah blah, because when you are sick that's not what you want to hear, i want him to remember good things about living not think about being sick and dying.

I think it would really add to have pics of him with his friends, but do you think it would be wrong of me to email these people not knowing if my dad has told them or not or what he has told them. Like i said i just want something nice for my dad i don't want it to turn into a pity party for him as that's not the kind of guy he is.
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My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Postby dawayne » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:33 pm

That's a tricky one. First off, you are a wonderful person to want to celebrate your dad this way. No, you are not wrong to not let his friends know, just say you are doing something really special for your dad and would like to know if they can send pics for your project. I would leave that up to you father if he wants them to know.
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My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Postby serafim » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:44 pm

first , thats a very sweet thing to do for him your an amazing daughter

second , i would contact the friends he is closest to and tell them your father dosnt want people to know and fill then in on what your doing , see if they can get the photos from other friends and tell them to tell the others its for an anniversary gift ...that should get things going without over stepping any boundrys

good luck to you and your father, im hoping for the best
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My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Postby nykko65 » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:48 pm

You don't have to tell them he has cancer. Just say you are making a scapbook for him. When things start to look like they are going down hill then you could tell his friends. Maybe tell a close friend or two so he will have someone there at the hospital to visit him or something.
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My father has cancer, i want to do something special for him. Help plz.?

Postby amikam » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:58 pm

You could email them and tell them they are for a future surprise gift and would they mind keeping it to themselves as not to spoil surprise.That way you have not lied and if they already now i think they will probably mention it themselves to you.anyway.
Having lost relations and friends to cancer i know how much it sucks.Good luck and god bless!
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