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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Cervical Cancer research and treatment discussions

My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby watts35 » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:32 pm

For the past 2 years the matriarch of our family has been dealing with cervical cancer. In March I found out I was expecting my 3rd child, due November 15th, which happens to be the birthday of the little one's Great Grandpa (yes, married to cancer patient). Grandma hasn't eaten in 7 days, and will die any day now. I, of course, am full term and also due any day. What if she dies, the baby is born, and Grandpa's birthday are all in one? This will happen in it's own time, but I can't help but think it will happen all together. Such sadness and such a blessing all at once.

Does anyone have tips to deal with these mixed emotions? Keep in mind, I'm 9 months pregnant and my emotions are already out of wack, let alone dealing with death too.

THANK YOU
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby archibaldo19 » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:41 pm

This happened to my cousin, her uncle in law got in a horrible car accident and passed away the day she went into labor.

These are two separate emotions. You set aside time to grieve, but need to celebrate the birth of your new baby.

Think of it this way, every day someone dies for someone else to be born. Its the natural way of life, it has to happen to everyone. You know what you can expect, don't stress yourself out about it. Spend some time with her these next few days and then on the day of your baby being born you can concentrate on whats happening there without any guilt or the feeling of "missing" her.

Good luck with everything, congrats :)
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby anakausuen » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:45 pm

I was born the day my Great Grandma died. I think it really was a bitter sweet time for everyone. I'd like to share though that from my perspective now it was in someways a positive thing. My family talks about how we must have crossed paths that day, with me on the way in to this world and her on the way out of it. I feel quite a connection to her, and I like the fact that I have her nose. I hope that if this sad thing does happen, one day you can some beauty in it too.
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby chano » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:51 pm

I was born the day my Great Grandma died. I think it really was a bitter sweet time for everyone. I'd like to share though that from my perspective now it was in someways a positive thing. My family talks about how we must have crossed paths that day, with me on the way in to this world and her on the way out of it. I feel quite a connection to her, and I like the fact that I have her nose. I hope that if this sad thing does happen, one day you can some beauty in it too.
Have a friend who gave birth to her son with in a couple hours of hearing her grandfather passed away. To her tho she was sad, it was a bitter sweet moment, one of course she will always remember. She said her grandfather passed to the heavens and so heaven needed room for another angel and thus sent her son to be born that day...in death they found life. Good luck, congrats on your baby to be and sorry about your soon to be loss, take care~
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby jameson » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:53 pm

Well, my father died on March 26th of 2007 and I had my first child, a daughter on March 26th 2008.

It's not exactly the same, but I sort of look at it in a way like my father left his life, but my daughter will carry it on for him. My brother and I were shocked when my daughter was born on the same day, but it also meant a lot to us that she was. You'll know how to deal with it if it happens, believe me.
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby johan » Sun Nov 04, 2012 12:56 pm

I am very sorry. I wish you the best of luck and i hope from the bottom of my heart that your mother will be able to at least see her grandchild, but either way she will be around all the time. God bless!
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby therron57 » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:05 pm

She is making room for the new arrival and the Baby will help every one that is dealing with her passing get over it. She has lived a wonderful life and it is time for her to go home. I'll bet every thing I know she can't wait to get there and see her old Friends and relatives who are waiting for her. Some thing we can all be thankful for and you too as well as the baby who I am sure has heard her voice.Your opportunity to meet her,spend time on earth with her and know where she is going.
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby clement » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:09 pm

You'll work through it all. Having the little one will focus you and help everyone see life does go on. It's not exactly the same but only 3 wks before my wife had our first child her mum died very suddenly aged 58. They had spent the months building up to this excitedly buying all the stuff and talking of what life would be like once the baby arrived and that all suddenly changed. The next 3 wks were actually spent hoping the baby didn't come too early as it seemed less cruel if she hadn't just missed the baby by days. In the months that followed my wife discovered she had cancer then her gran also died quite suddenly. She's not quite the same person she was that summer she was pregnant but is slowly coming back to herself and the baby kept her dad and sister busy. Good luck for everything that's to follow. Enjoy the babe.
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby prince » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:14 pm

i'm so sorry. My grandparents all died by the time i was 19, way b4 i got pregnant last year at 24, but i know it was very hard for me to lose my grandma, the only one left I had, at 19. I knew of someone whose mom died 2 weeks after her daughter's birth. also, if it helps any, my grandma and I have the same birthday, so whenever my b-day comes around, I think of her and how I miss her. my grandfather died on my 3rd birthday, which I remember that being the worst b-day ever for me. my mom was crying so much that day and i really didnt understand why at the time.
i think just try to realize your grandma's death day and child's birthday are not connected; even though their the same day, see them as 2 separate things, dont bunch them together. Give yourself the allowance to mourn, cry in private if you have to, dont try to avoid mounring.
remember, due dates are almost always off, so they may not share the same exact date, if that helps any. I know it will be hard to lose a grandparent so close to just giving birth to a new child. also, i hope this helps, but your grandmother has sort of "put her time under earth in', she has lived a long and probably fulfilling life, became a wife, mother, grandmother, etc. Now her time has come, while your child's time is just beginning, its the cycle of life.
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My baby might be born the same day his Great Grandma will die. How do I deal with these mixed emotions?

Postby beldin » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:27 pm

Right now, no one can tell you EXACTLY when your child will be born, or EXACTLY when your grandma will die, but just remember, God made these things happen for a purpose,and even if she does die and there WILL be sadness in your family,she will go to a better place, and it was all meant to be.
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