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Is it OK to tell off my uncle?

Pancreatic Cancer Discussions

Is it OK to tell off my uncle?

Postby uilleam » Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:01 pm

My dad died exactly 3 months ago today from pancreatic cancer. Needless to say, it was a painful experience for all of us. My uncle (mother's brother) never particularly liked my dad. He didn't call to say he was sorry or go to the funeral, and that's ok, I didn't mind that. Today he tells my grandmother (and everyone knows my grandma don't keep secrets) all sorts of terrible things about my father's past (some true). My grandmother tells my mom and of course, she is heartbroken and tells me. I called my uncle and went off and sent him to hell, It was reeeeeally bad. I've never done anything like that and now I feel awful. What should I do?
uilleam
 
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Is it OK to tell off my uncle?

Postby nixon87 » Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:05 pm

It depends on a number of things. If you dad was a paedophile or a murderer then everybody has a right to know. If he was a scoundrel and a bit naughty then there was no need for your uncle to say anything, or your grandma to say anything. As for telling YOU 3 months after your father died, well. If you're young then it's a bit out of line to be honest. If you're a grown adult maybe they thought you had a right to know but still. What's the point of sullying someone's name after they have died? Your uncle I'm afraid, had to be prepared for the consequences of his actions. What does he expect you to do, if not defend your dead father. Don't feel bad, you're grieving and he should have had more sense.

He should apologise to you if anything for being so insensitive.
nixon87
 
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