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I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Lung Cancer discussions, another of the most common forms of cancer

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby Jermayne » Sat Oct 07, 2017 5:46 pm

so i lived in the USA for exactly 7 years. I moved there with my mom when i was 12 and had one of the hardest times leaving my family behind in Chile and getting used to my new life. after two years everything got much better and i was used to my life, i made friends, did good in school, learned english,went out partied had boyfriends and i grew up. when i was 16 my grandpa, who lives in Chile who was basiclly my dad because my dad was never really there, was diagnosed with lung cancer. it was shocking because he was very young and always seemed healthy. my grandpa was my life and i became worried but since i was the youngest in the family everyone pretended that my gpa was getting better everyday, when really he was getting worst, and eventually died after 6 months of struggling with cancer. hit death hit me like an avalanche and i went into denial. i felt guilty for not going to see him in chile ( the reason was bc i would never be able to come back) and i also believed that he was going to get better. for two years i did not like to think about him, talk about him, see pictures of him, nothing that reminded me of him. at 17 i found an amazing person who became my boyfriend, and he decided he wanted to help me adjust my visa. i had to leave the country and come back to chile (which is where i am now) and have been for 3 months.. i used to see my boyfriend everyday, i havent seen him in 3 months. we talk everyday but things have come along the way that might delay my trip or might mean that i can never even go back. I am back at the house where i lived when i was 12 and being in this house and not seeing my gpa makes me sick. i know it sounds crazy but i was almost expecting to see him when i came here. my moms always putting me down because i cant find a job down here. i worked for a month and only got payed 11 dollars a day working 8 and a half hours, 6 days a week. my mom demands that i ask my dad for money even though he stopped giving her child support when we left to the USA. i barely rememebred my dad until i came back and he got in touch with me and now we hang out every once in a while. my mom thnks the worst of him and says im just like him and always finds a way of putting me down. I live with my uncle who is like my brother and my gma. i grew up wth my uncle and hes only 4 and a half years older than me and hes always making fun of me and making me feel like ****. im not sure what to do anymore bc my trip might be delayed i was suppsoed to go back in march 20th and now i might have to stay even longer. i miss my boyfriend so much i miss my friends and my old life. i cant get used to living here again and im getting really depressed. i dont go out or really even talk to anyone anymore and i cry everyday. i feel like a horrible person because everyones turned their back on me including my mom and i feel like everythinga that im going through is my fault and i deserve it. i dont know what to do and dont tell me to seek professional help because i dont have money for that and my mom is deff not going to pay. sometimes i feel like i dont really wanna live anymore if this is what life is like. the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend.
Jermayne
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2014 7:14 pm

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby Bellamie » Sat Oct 07, 2017 5:47 pm

its not like i have ever even thought of killing myself, but living everyday has become a struggle and sometimes i wish i could just sleep for days and not wake up till its over and i can go back and start my life. i would never actually kill myself but its just so hard to deal with my life everyday because i feel so sad.
Bellamie
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 10:51 am

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby Yang » Sat Oct 07, 2017 5:51 pm

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF TELL YOUR FAMILY ABOUT HOW YOU ARE FEELING.
Yang
 
Posts: 69
Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:52 am

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby Edelmarr » Sat Oct 07, 2017 5:59 pm

Trust me in comparison to what you're going through - I feel your pain how ever there are much worse things going on in the world, we all face hardships in life but you have to understand that 'ending your life' as it seems suggested is quite a selfish thing to do, you need to consider your families welfare as well as your boyfriends and the consequences of you committing suicide, not only that you're young and naive, things always go bad but generally get better. Perseverance, I don't know? take up a hobby, put your all into something, distract yourself if it's that emotionally challenging and one day you'll reunite with your 'boyfriend'.
Edelmarr
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2014 10:02 pm

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby vardan91 » Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:01 pm

hang in there and hope for the best, it hard once you get the American way in you head. It make it harder to figure out what's going on in mom head. they are as unhappy as you but they just can't stop acting like jerks.
vardan91
 
Posts: 125
Joined: Wed May 22, 2013 10:28 am

I Feel Like I Dont Want To Live Anymore. Depressed And Going Through A Hard Time In My Life?

Postby Chizkiyahu » Sat Oct 07, 2017 6:24 pm

You know deep down inside that killing yourself is not right.

Your life is precious. You might be feeling like you have nothing to live for no one appreciates you, but I know that God loves you and cares more about you and your life than anything. I think you should take a look at this webpage. It beautifully lists all the Bible verses together, telling about God's love for us. http://www.habeeb.com/fathers.love.letter/fathers.love.letter.english.html

And even though I don't know you, I dearly care about you. If I could give you a hug right now I would. Your life is precious to me too--please don't waste it.
Chizkiyahu
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:27 am


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