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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Beatie » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:27 am

Im 12 years old and I went to the hospital saturday afternoon 4/24. We spent about 6 hours in the emergency room before my grandpa got moved upstairs and I was very hopeful he would be alright. I stayed there for 27 hours with my mom, aunt, and grandpas 3 best friends. He scared us a few times during the night and it terrified me. We knew it was coming, he was suffering from stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I will not go into detail about the other stuff. he died 24 hours and 18 minutes later. he had been found unconscious 4/24 at 4:24 PM (odd, right?) and died 4/25 at 4:42 PM. I also stayed at the hospital for 4 hours to get myself together. My mother and I waited for the funeral director and watched him go into the hearse so they could prepare him for the wake and funeral. as I said, i am only 12 years old and it was traumatizing to watch my grandfather die. he was my last grandfather left and now my only grandparent is his ex-wife (divorced before he died). I got home around 8:30 PM and have been crying since then (it is 4:17 AM now). this is really hard for me and i cant describe the pain i feel. im sorry this is so long but im just really down in the dumps. thanks for any help you offer :)
Beatie
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Ber » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:30 am

you ought to bear in mind and concentration on the affection you shared. it is going to be frustrating, yet as quickly as the chuffed recommendations initiate changing the sorrowful ones, you're gonna be attentive to which you would be ok returned. Grief is a private technique for you to handle, however the solar does come out returned. as quickly as I had to handle the shortcoming of my Grandpa returned in 06, expressing my emotions in poems particularly helped. until now this 12 months because of the fact the anniversary approached (he died in Feb), I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt, that I missed him and nonetheless enjoyed him. i became into crying as I wrote it, and in specific situations my recommendations nonetheless carry me to tears. yet i be attentive to that he's in a extra advantageous place now, and he's not unwell anymore, and that i'd be chuffed for him and chuffed that i will see him returned, and that factor, I won't lose him returned. Be good, and you gets by using it.
Ber
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Wendale » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:31 am

Aw don't feel bad, something like this happened to me too. My grandpa died on Christmas eve in the year of 2007, he couldn't hear, couldn't see, and pretty much couldn't move. He had cancer and looked very different from what he looked like before the cancer came. I was at his house and his wifes, I called him Papa and I call my grandma Yia yia, which means grandma in greek. Im not 1% greek but my grandpa got remarried to Yia yia a long time after his first wife had died of cancer. I was at their house with my older sister who was 14 at the time, my dad, my uncle, and my aunt. Yia yia is a retired nurse who was helping the other nurse at the house take care of Papa. I was talking with my uncle and aunt in the other room, trying to get Papa being sick off our minds, we talked about what we wanted for Christmas the next day and what we hoped we got. It was time for my dad to meet up at a gas station with my mom (His ex-wife) and drop my sister (Lindsay) and me off to her so we could go to our other grandma's and grandpa's house. Lindsay and I said bye to our uncle and aunt then said bye to Yia yia. My sister and I both knew this would probably be our last time seeing our grandpa, we were asked by the nurse if we wanted to come say bye to our grandpa before we left, even though he wouldn't know who it was saying bye to him. To tell the truth we were both scared to see him being so sick and we had a hard time saying no, but the nurse understood. My dad took us to the gas station which was about 30 minutes away and we got into our mom's car, my other grandma was there, we call her Ma Mom. We were probably about 15 minutes away from Ma Mom's and Papa's (I also call my other grandpa Papa) house when my mom got a call from my dad, my grandpa had died. My sister was crying but I wasn't because I had my ear phones on and was listening to my ipod so I couldn't hear anything, I looked over at my sister and saw her crying, I knew why she was too. I turned off my ipod and started crying too, my mom was also sad, Ma Mom had never met my other grandpa but she was very sad watching us cry. We got to Ma Mom's and Papa's house and my sister and I hugged Papa and our other uncle who was there while crying, we were crying so hard we couldn't even tell them what happened. My sister went somewhere else but I went into my grandma's room and cryed on her bed, my mom and Ma Mom had to tell them what happened. It helped that later that night we went to a Christmas party with other family members, it kept my mind off it. Even though randomly through the night I would cry because of it. I finally got over it as days and weeks went by, and from that day and until now I regret not saying bye to my grandpa, but I always remember 1 thing. My grandpa loved me and wouldn't want me to be sad because of his death, he would of wanted me to continue on with life and make it the best I can. Just remember that your grandpa loved you too and wouldn't want you to be sad, and that he is always with you in your heart.
Wendale
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Scirloc » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:33 am

I was about your age when I lost my Great Aunt to Breast Cancer and our family too spent about the same time at the hospital in their hospice ward.
I was older when I lost my Grandma to diabetes (she was going to get her leg amputated and died going into surgery) I thought I would see her coming out of surgery and I missed my chance to say goodbye.

Our family members that are close to us like your grandpa when they die we miss them.
They show us unconditional love sometimes even more than our parents (because they HAVE to discipline us) and grandpa and grandma just loves us.


It is natural to cry, when grandma died I left the hospital and went to a beach and cried for hours all alone.
I can truthfully say that nobody (except my wife) loved me more than she did.
I was born on her birthday and when she died it became the saddest day of the year for me.

So, I turned it around and got married on that day, making it a very happy day.
But then 9/11 hit and now it will forever be a solemn day because so many lives were lost.


So what to do once your tears run out? I love to write, and that is exactly what I did when my Great Aunt and Grandma died.
I wrote about them and the nice memories I had of them.
Because my grandma and I had the same birthday often we would celebrate with one cake.
Well for one birthday I had when I was about seven years old, grandma was MAD at grandpa for something and ended up throwing our cake so high in the air it landed on the ceiling.
I cried so much (now I am laughing at that memory) but at the time I was devastated.
Sometimes at these birthday parties Grandma would dance the Hula and we all had a great time.

So, write down in a journal everything you remember about grandpa.
Never lose that because when you get older you will forget those memories, and when you get sad about him you can open up your treasure book and like me you might smile at some of the things you remember about relatives that pass on.

I have grandma's sense of humor, and temper.
What makes us who we are is the relationships with our relatives like grandma and grandpa.
If grandma is still alive ask her about your grandpa how they met, and what made her fall in love with him.
Whatever those qualities he had, part of them are inside of you.
Put her stories in your book too.


That is the best I can offer you, besides my kindest regards to you and your family.

Dave
Scirloc
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Adda » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:34 am

This is what I believe. When my grandfather passed away, I just told myself to believe he wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, and he would have liked me to be happy. I hope this isn't too harsh, but life moves on, and you will learn to deal with it in the future. You can't do anything to change the past, but you can be more productive and cherish every moment you have. I truly wish you the best.


" :-) " Back at you!
Adda
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Thornly » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:37 am

I lost my grandfather when I was 10 years old. To cancer as well. The best way to get over it in all honesty is time. I know people will tell you that over and over again but as time goes on our scars heal. I remember the good times I had with my grandpa and sometimes to this day I still think about it (I am 20 years old) with time it gets better you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel but its there and one day you'll feel better just cry your ever loving heart out and continue to cry for as long as it takes to stop crying. Remember the good memories and take time to mourn. As you mourn you will slowly grow past it. But I promise you one day it will be better (not perfect) but better.
Thornly
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Lucien » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:40 am

just think he is watching you right now reading this. and he wil always be helping you do what ever you do
Lucien
 
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How To Get Over The Death Of My Grandfather?

Postby Ellwood » Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:44 am

I often end up submitting the same question on other sites
Ellwood
 
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