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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Rhett » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:29 pm

I am agnostic/atheist.
I do not believe there is sufficient evidence of a deity, so I don't believe in any. I am a pretty good person, though.
My husband and I are lower middle class (or just barely above poverty).
Still, we donate over 15% of our income to charity. We donate time when we can, we are raising our children to be open minded, loving, and caring people.
We do for others before ourselves. We live simply, and have very little excesses. We tend not to judge others because we have no idea what led them to the place they are. Seriously, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but this is how I strive to live.
Not for selfish reasons or to keep a god from smiting me, but because it is what should be done.

Now, I wasn't raised this way. I was abused, neglected, homeless, starved, and responsible for raising a younger sibling starting when I was 11 years old. My brothers and I were always the last priority. We were beaten by whatever random alcoholic that mom brought home. That all changed about 5 years ago when mom found God. She turned her life around (AWESOME)! It was nice to see her so clean and devoted, even if she did just trade in her alcohol and sex addictions for another one. Before too long, though, she became one of THOSE born again Christians.
The ones who tell you how evil you are, and that you are going to hell because you haven't given yourself to Jesus. Now, she is telling me that my autistic son is God's punishment for my disbelief. Also, her new husband likes to throw his own kind of sage advice my way.
Yeah, he's born again also. Only after repeatedly molesting his own daughter while she grew up. Awesome. If it were just my crazy mom and this guy, I would ignore it and move on. It isn't, though. Many other religious folks seriously believe I am a worse person for being faithless than those who have repented for some seriously messed-up deeds. How is this???

Lastly, I'm not the kind of person that generally dwells on what others say.
My mom has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I am messed up about all of this. I feel like a jerk for not being there while she goes through this, but I can't just sit and take the abuse because she is dying. That's a whole other topic, though.
Thanks for reading, and for any light you can shed on this for me.
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Winwood » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:31 pm

Because you're an unforgiven sinner.

Anyone can be forgiven, even a child molester.

If he truly was born-again, he would cease to be one.

You've seen what God has done in her life, Jesus saves.
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Cinneidigh » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:35 pm

Thanks for all your input so far. John G, I know stage 4 doesn't mean what it used to. HOWEVER, she has refused all treatment except the removal of the largest mass. The smaller masses in her liver, kidneys and lymph nodes are still there. She is waiting for God to heal the rest. I hope for the best, but certainly don't have her faith.

I also should mention that they live in the Chicago area and I am now in Tennessee. So, her husband is not a physical threat. Really, this all boils down to the fact that I don't hold grudges and I want to have a good relationship with her. It is not in my nature to be spiteful or angry, even if others would understand why I acted that way.

For the Christians that responded seriously, I thank you. I know that not all act as my mom does.
It is just very hard to understand. I rely on reason, and there seems to be absolutely no reason in what she says. I have always tried very hard to do no harm. If I failed at that (as I am not perfect), I
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Remo » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:36 pm

Because Christianity generally is for the down and out, who dont have the capibility to cope any other way.

This is not a negitive, churchs are responsible for the turning around of many lives.
Many sing the praise of God, because this coping mechinism is sometimes healithier than the ones used before they became Christian.

It doesnt mean the religion is true or always good.
The people who take it to the other extream, guilt being the biggest offender, generally go back to down and out coping.
They use drugs and alcohol and the cycle starts again.

Life is not a test, life is a learning process, that is what the chuches steal from us.

When we die we all end up in the same place a pleasant place of freedom love and compainship, perfect in every way and it isnt earned its just part of being human.
We have the option to return or to remain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Summerl...
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Shou » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:38 pm

Really I deal with all kinds of nutcase relatives too.
I am a good person as well ....living my life much like you but I am a wiccan so that makes me hell bound as well according to the religious nutcases.
The fact that I don't believe in hell or in Satan doesn't even slow them down for accusing me of all kinds of stuff.

The answer I have come up with is that these people use a vague religion like christianity to justify all kinds of evil acts.
Christainity lets them do it in fact I think it was made for that.
It also gives them justification to make out that they are better people than the ones who have good lives and have lived in the right manner when they have done nothing but hurt others.
So arrogance is a big part of it.

Your mom is facing death.
But she has been a terrible person and now deep down inside of her she realizes that she isn't going to be able to escape the end.
She can't talk her way out of it although she is trying by making others feel bad.
She can't go somewhere else and escape....so she thinks that by sounding holier than thou she is scoring points beyond the veil of death.

Who really knows her reasoning.
Don't let her make you feel bad.
YOu have no reason to.
She lived her life the way she wanted... that isn't your fault and neither is your reaction to her. No one deserved to be abused by anyone no matter what the situation.
You do what you have to protect yourself from her evil.
Beware that her current hubby will probably be very judgemental towards you after she is gone.
Protect yourself from him.
Don't let him damage you either.

BLessed be...
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Maloney » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:39 pm

This all sounds incredibly sad. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do for your Mum. Just keep your kids away from this dirtbag who she married.
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Garmund » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:40 pm

First, some GOOD news. That stage 4 thing isn't the death sentence it once was. PLENTY of people are being successfully treated, but see if she can get into a clinical trial of the new drugs, for a little extra edge. As for the rest:

There are, indeed, many "born again" Christians who have recovered and bounced back from some dreadful prior life and experiences. Whether it is the real deal, or just the latest from of denial - only time will tell. But your mother's case appears to be genuine.

And it is not untypical that the newly baked Christians go through a period in which they feel compelled to drag everyone else along on their journey. In many cases, but not all, they eventually become a bit more seasoned, and realize that the positive changes they may help bring about in others will come more as a result of their own example and obvious happiness then it will because of their preachments. For the rest of us, it means some tolerance and patience is required. The nonsense about your son's autism as a form of punishment is a classic case. Sooner or later, they will have an experience, or conclude through thought, they they've gone a bit overboard.

Meanwhile, for yourself, freely leave God out of the argument, and be guided by the moral compass which has thus far served you well. The deal with mom is that, one way or another, she needs treatment, and you need the intestinal fortitude to see this thing through. And as for the psychiatric cases who would have you think you are worse for being faithless, your instincts quite clearly, and quite correctly, tell you otherwise. I'll drag this much of my own religious persuasion into the matter: If Jesus appeared before you right now, he would, just as he once did, castigate those who judge you, reminding them about that casting of the first stone. And he would then turn to you and say, "Forget about believing in me, and for right now just believe that someone needs to get a grip, here, and guess what - that's you!"

You are going to suffer through a lot of nonsense from well meaning, and not so well meaning advisers here on Yahoo who will attempt to convince you about God's plan, your opportunity of salvation and similar themes. Be grateful for those who express sincere interest and as forgiving as you can about those who would put you in their spiritual test tubes. And in all things, keep your focus.

I wish you the best.

EDIT: So good to see your response. I had wondered whether mother might "go it alone" on the remaining cells, and can appreciate your great uncertainty about the outcome.

I was unaware that you are not immediately present, but now do realize you operate "long distance." Owing to this, the only thing you can do, really, is support her as and where she is mentally and otherwise. Forgive me when I say I very much wish I was a nearby personal friend, who could give you a little punch on the arm and help you work though it.

I admire you for maintaining your disposition. Of all the people involved, you most assuredly occupy the high ground, and being true to yourself is exactly what you must continue to do.
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Fritz » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:44 pm

God Bless
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby jeronimo44 » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:46 pm

Because he's born again and you're not.

I AM awful sorry for what you're going through, though, and said a quick prayer for you.
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How Is It That I Am Hell-bound, And A Born Again Christian Child Molester Is Not?

Postby Ottokar » Wed Apr 19, 2017 12:47 pm

It seems my last edit got cut off. Ah well. I was basically saying that I do my best to right any wrongs I have ever done. This all just hurts so much more because of the circumstances and timing. That, and I've never gotten anything near an apology for the shaky upbringing. I just don't want it to be this way.
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