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How do you leave someone that is terminally ill?

Ovarian Cancer Discussion Forum

How do you leave someone that is terminally ill?

Postby feltin98 » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:01 am

I'm already expecting to receive a bit of flak for this question and I know similar have been asked but I wish to express my scenario. I've been dating this girl for around 6 months now and I have come to the conclusion that I am not "In love with her" and that she does not possess the certain qualities I thought she did. Usually I would tell the person I'm really sorry I don't feel for you in that way anymore. However this becomes increasingly difficult when I look at how dependent on me she is. She has many health issues such as lower left temporal lobe epilepsy, severe O.C.D and has recently been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Now don't get me wrong these are none of the reasons I wish to break up, in fact these reasons are making me want to stay however, I don't wish to string her or myself along. Inlight of recent events I fear a vast proportion of her mental heath rests with the fact I'm here (She has been in a mental health clinic a few years prior to us dating which she neglected to tell me. Along with a few other things.)
She's trying to get me and her a place together and realistically I know it's not what I want. I know she (Or at least she thinks) is completely in love with me and I'm the one for certain, and as I'm writing this and within the past hour I have received 4 texts saying "I love you" "Forever yours" "I'll never stop loving you" (it's 2:30am) and it's tearing me apart. I don't want to lie to her but I don't want to cause her anymore pain especially after what has recently gone on. She gets little support from her mother and I feel like an *** just for wanting to end it.
We are both only 19 and the pressure of trying to stay true to myself and keeping her happy is causing my college grades to slide because its always on my mind.
I don't want an easy way out or a quick fix just some friendly advice, Do I stay with her move in together just for the sake of not causing her anymore trouble and be unhappy. Or do I leave her hope it doesn't **** her up too much and try to support her as a friend knowing that trying to offer that sort of emotional support will most likely cause her to be more attached to me than she already is?

Thanks in advance - and sorry for the essay.
feltin98
 
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How do you leave someone that is terminally ill?

Postby santos » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:06 am

Straight up bro, i know what your going thru. Tell her, don't string her along. And Trust when i say it mostly likely will be hell with her state. Be a friends not a hope breaker. Break it to her kindly instead of the usual way. That mean don't take her out and give a fancy dinner. Call a friend have them there. Explain yourself, ask to be a friend.

Only stay if there is love. Sympathy and pity in the end will hurt both of you and utterly destroy her.
santos
 
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How do you leave someone that is terminally ill?

Postby worrell » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:10 am

oh im sorry to hear that. i wouldn't leave her, she needs you to be there for her. she's in a situation where it might be death threatning...or at least i think so. don't leave, yes she might not come up to ur standards anymore but be a good guy and stay by her side. instead just think her as a friend. please dont leave her, that would break her heart, and since im a girl i'll tell you that it's heartbreaking when the guy u love breaks up with you. it's like the world falls apart, you know what i mean? so yeah, stay with her, be with her. give her all you got, 'cause u never know, u might regret it... i hope she gets better :)
worrell
 
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