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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby edwald52 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:33 am

My beautiful dog Mystique aka "Tique Tique Monster" was playing in the back yard about 8 months ago and she started to have a seizure that last ten minutes or so...We took her to the vet and they kept her over night.She had another one while there.After test and x-rays was diagnosed with pancreas cancer a very unusual form.We paid thousands to see if the could remove the worse but it had spread already.So we started to give her prednisone to help with keeping her glucose high and help her not to have seizures.We made her a inside dog and loved and spoiled her.We'd take her into get her insulin levels checked and it would get lower and lower.We gave her food every four hours and sugar every two.We had her on the highest amount of prednisone.She started breathing heavy and get runny nose,and she would just lay around.We had to carry her up the stairs and help her up from the tile or concrete.She was such a loving dog.Always wag her tail at us.

But two days ago she fell while trying to go potty(and she hates being dirty)then she would fall every time.Her breathing got harder and she would just lay there.And when she would walk she would wable
but she had this sad look in her eyes.So we took her and had her put down yesterday.I'm just devastated I feel so guilty and the way she looked at my husband and I when she passed will forever haunt me.She was still responsive to us and would get happy to be next to us.I just don't know if we should have waited longer?She was our baby and we love her sooo much.She would have got worse and eventually pass.But the guilt is killing me.I just didn't want her to have seizure an pass painful.Can someone please tell me if we did the right thing?The vet said it was best,but that look...
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby albany94 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:36 am

I'm so sorry you had to part with your pet. She was very near passing, I do not think it would have been right to keep her a moment longer. It was her time to go and to keep her lingering would not be right. She looked at you for the comfort of knowing you were there for her, and you were.

My little dove waited for me to come home and she died as I held her in my hand. I was heartbroken. But I do think that there is an afterlife, and nothing good will be denied us there, including our loving pets. The Christian Bible says "God sees every Sparrow that passes." Now why would the scripture point that out if it was not important? God cares about His creation. My pet cats love me very much, and I love them, and love never dies, and there IS love between them and me.

I felt so helpless when I tenderly laid to rest the remains of my dove. It still hurts. But in the end, all things pass on, including us; we just trust in our Loving God. Guilt is a part of the grieving process. You may also feel intermittent anger, sadness, a variety of things. Know it for what it is - the grieving process. You did everything you could for your pet, now do one last thing - let go and trust. Peace friend, and healing. - Susan
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby graent » Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:43 am

I have had so many dogs. So many times have i had to go though the pain of losing one. It is never easy, and you will always second guess yourself.

We just love them so much, we are so afraid of robing them of one minute of life. We are so fearful that there was one more thing we could have done, one more day we could have spent with them. We worry that somehow, they will fault us for putting them down.

It haunts people like us. But, if it makes any difference, from a detached, outside observers point of view, you did what had to be done. You have nothing to feel guilty about, or shamed of.

In the wild, a pack of dogs, they never have to really go though anything like this. Their life spans are much shorter. And when a dog in a pack is about to die, they run away and hide. See one of the best survival tools a pack has is a high degree of mobility. They are also very loyal to each other. If the dying dog didn't run away, the pack would stay by their side until the dog died. It might take a long while. During which time the pack is in jeopardy. So, as fearful as death may be, the dying dog would rather face it alone, then put the pack in danger.

So, two things to consider. One, we ask your dogs to live a lot longer then they would in the wild. This is a human choice. Since we impose this burden upon the dogs, it is also only right that we do not prolong the pain and indignities of old age, to a point where our wanting to be with them cause them undo suffering.
Second, when death is coming, those final moment, the dog feels panicky, not because the fear death, but because their instinct tells them you are in danger, because you should not be there. They feel they are letting you down, they feel they should die alone, that the pack is immobile because of them. But when they finally die, they feel a sense of release, not just from the pain, but they feel they are no longer endangering the pack, they pack can go mobile again.

So what you see as "that look" that haunts you, it is not the dog hating you, it is not a mommy how could you, it is the dog worrying about you. That is just how little they think about themselves.

How could so loving, so nobel, so self sacrificing a creature, possibly have any ill will towards you for doing what is right. For lifting that extra burden off the dog that we have asked them to take on.

And, you will see her again. Long story, now is not the time for it, but I KNOW dogs have a soul and intelligence that goes beyond this life.

A Little Dog Angel (by: Noah M. Holland)

High up in the courts of heaven today
a little dog angel waits;
with the other angels she will not play,
but she sits alone at the gates.
"For I know my master will come" says she,
"and when she comes she will call for me."

The other angels pass her by
As they hurry toward the throne,
And she watches them with a wistful eye
as she sits at the gates alone.
"But I know if I just wait patiently
that someday my master will call for me."

And her master, down on earth below,
as she sits in her easy chair,
forgets sometimes, and whispers low
to the dog who is not there.
And the little dog angel cocks her ears
and dreams that her master's voice she hears.

And when at last her master waits
outside in the dark and cold,
for the hand of death to open the door,
that leads to those courts of gold,
she will hear a sound through the gathering dark,
a little dog angel's bark.

You will see her again. I hope the best for you, and will add you all (mommy, daddy & doggy) to my prayers.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby lynne » Fri Sep 16, 2011 8:48 am

Sounds like you had a lot more time with your dog than a lot of other people would have had. Myself, if it was going to cost thousands of dollars to keep a dog that was just going to suffer, I would've just put a bullet in its skull to stop the misery.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby brant » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:00 am

When I put an animal, that I loved, to sleep, it always bruised my heart. The "guilt" that you say you are feeling...is probably more grief for yourself and your loss. Please try to remember, it's not the quantity of life, but the quality of life. If you waited, the dog that you say you loved, would have suffered. Perhaps that "sad" look in her eyes, wasn't just sadness, but gratefulness. Do your mourning, take the time. Then get brave. There are SO many other wonderful loving dogs that need your love and care. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby avram » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:08 am

Sorry about the loss of your pet.
You will feel sad for some time; you will remember and miss her - but you did not put her to sleep before it was time! If anything, it seems she was quite ill for a long time, and your family went above and beyond in trying to make her time easier.
Pancreatic cancer is hardly ever cured. From the signs you give, she was probably far gone and needed to be put out of her misery.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby lazaro » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:24 am

You did the right thing.

She was having trouble breathing, she couldn't walk well, she would fall over, and you said she would just lay there and that she had a sad look in her eyes.

Your Tique Tique Monster, who was a dog who loved to play, would just lay there?

You did the right thing, I know how easy it is doubt yourself, I've been there. But you did the right thing for your pup. You did everything you could for her, you did more than most people would have. You did the right thing. Shes not suffering anymore, Shes not having seizures, shes not in pain. You did the right thing.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby bink44 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:30 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can relate, I had a hard time reading your question - it's so sad. I had a cat that I treated for diabetes from 3 to 9 years old. I had to make the descision to put him down. I knew it was the right thing to do, his quality of life had really gone down hill and I thought that maybe, he was just "done". I remember him looking at me in the end with low eyes that just said, "human" I'm done.

I can remember feeling exactly the way you do right now. Wondering if I had made the right choice or not. I beleive those of us who have pets in our family have the responsibility to put the pets life and life quality before our needs, emotions, and what we want.

It is really hard, I know. But this too shall pass.
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby ethelred » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:34 am

chill get nuver pet ruffyyyyyyyyyyyy yoooooooooooooo
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How do I get over the guilt of putting my dog to sleep and was it too soon?

Postby thompson36 » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:39 am

chill get nuver pet ruffyyyyyyyyyyyy yoooooooooooooo
good morning I am sorry for your loss but i think you did the most humane thing for your beloved best friend just try not to think of what she be come and cherish all the good memories of you and her and it will surely get you through the rough days ok bye enjoy your morning
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