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How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Leukemia and blood cancer discussion.

How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Postby Camdyn » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:38 pm

I can't really look at ppl in the eye when im talking to them and im always insecure about myself in public and ppl can even tell i am because i usually look uncomfortable around ppl.. when i have a conversation i always try to get away from it and when i do have a conversation i always regret what i said.. i always think so negatively and i can only see the bad side of every situation. i rlly do just hate almost every single person i ever met in my life including myself..

I never had a crush on a girl since 7 yrs old and never kissed a girl since 5th grade. I didn't find anyone interesting and i thot i never rlly would,til 7th grade summer school.

i sat next to this stunning beautiful latin girl w/ silky white skin and the cutest blushh ever, she had the prettiest eyes ive ever seen and she had flawless red/black hair and the most sexiest lips ever with an amazing body and her tone of voice always catches my attention , she was just soooo fine it was ridiculous.. and whenever we had a conversation it was like we knew eachother and we always smiled at eachother for no reason..

I was so shy to ask her out so i never got the chance.. now i hav no chance at all in this point, i didn't even get her #..

i turned into a complete loser in 8th grade after i fought this 6th grader and brought a knife and pointed it at him, i dnt know why, i think im bipolar because people always would fxck around w/ me and i would always fight back..

i came back frm suspension and a belting frm my dad and i got jumped after school for pointing tht knife.. noone knew about tht incident and i just went on being the fakest and most foolish dumbxss in school..

i lost all my friends, the closest thing i call friends are a group of mexicans tht steal my lunch, mess around and hate on me.. even losers diss me.. im so lonely i can only express my feelings thru here..

now she got a boyfriend tht was 10000000000 times better than me, everyone wanted him, my heart shattered, im not ugly but this guy made me look like shxt ...
she broke up wit him but she always thinks about him n everyone says tht they were the cutest couple theve ever seen

i became depressed and my sister's leukemia diagnosis and my uncle's death made it worse.. she is cured but it is guaranteed tht she will get it again and all those $150,000 chemo therapies made my family almost homeless. even tho our house was almost empty, shady axss ppl would still rob my house and try to take everything they see.. but whenever she says hi to me she puts a smile on my face, i was even lucky to meeta girl like her. but in time she stopped talking to me and she just like disappeared out my life and i realized she had better friendships w/ other guys than she had w/ me..

everyday i cry to all this BS thats happening to me.

my whole life is a depression w/ moments of happiness and noone picks me up frm this shxthole but they just kick me back down.. i cnt transfer to another school now cuz my parents say it takes too many papers..

i swear.. if my life doesn't change, i promise that i will be the most evil and greedy person i can be..
Posts: 62
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 1:08 am

How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Postby Ferrel » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:41 pm

therapy helps, if you really want to change see a therapist. most people who see therapists dont have real problems, they just want someone to talk to, and they are glad to see someone that they can actually help. honestly, many people find that therapy completely turns there life around. insurance might cover it.
Posts: 59
Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:24 pm

How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Postby Lyle » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:55 pm

Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:48 am

How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Postby Dedric » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:57 pm

Well I dont want to read the wall of text sorry about that but i know a guy who has the same problem

My advice Is to move and start fresh be who you truly want to be find friends that are true dont stress over this it's bad.. If you can move to another state soon do it and start fresh thats what i would do.
Posts: 63
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:51 pm

How Do I Change Myself And Life?

Postby Clemento » Fri Sep 29, 2017 10:00 pm

You should see a counselor but whatever you do, don't give up on life because it WILL get better. Also, never use violence to deal with things because that will only make you sadder.
Posts: 58
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:07 am

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