Was that your first one? If so, then that's why it was painful. My first one was painful. Its very hard, but you need to be COMPLETELY relaxed. Being very relaxed completely changes the experience. You can go ahead and say you were relaxed, but it honestly shouldn't hurt if you were.
Just because you aren't sexually active doesn't mean they shouldn't do a pap test on you. They don't just check you for STD's.. They look at your cervix and they check your ovaries. They make sure everything is functioning and healthy. They could catch a serious problem by just doing those check ups.
I wouldn't refuse a pap test, because they are just there to help you.
You can definitely say no though, but they will tell you why it is important to get one. And I would listen to them, and just do it. They are uncomfortable and unpleasant, but they could save you from having your ovaries removed by doing this simple procedure once a year.