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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Lung Cancer discussions, another of the most common forms of cancer

Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Julius » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:07 am

My bf father became ill late jan of this year. By 1st march he had been diagnosed with lung and liver cancer and we were told that there was nothing that they could do. However 2 weeks ago we were told that he could have chemo and if he opted for it he would have upto 6 months to live, if not then 2 weeks. He decided to go for it and started chemo. My problem is that back in October, I booked a city break for myself and bf for his 30th bday for the end of march for 3 days, sadly I didn't take out holiday insurance at the time. Needless to say, I was told that I may have't to cancel my holiday if things took a turn for the worst, which I understood. He is currently in and out of hospital for tests but seems to be ok. My bf said that it would be ok fit him to go if his dad is ok, but I really need to go away for awhile, I have a really stressful job and feel like a pressure cooker. I'm thinking of going by myself. Obviously if his dad takes a turn for the worst in the next few days I won't go anywhere, but if the situation stays the same I can't see the harm if both of us go away - or if his mum says no then I really want to go. This is my only holiday this year, in trying so hard to save for a house. If we/I don't go I loose the money and I can't afford to book another. I know that sounds selfish but its the truth.


Would should we/I do?
Julius
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Penvro » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:15 am

I know it's really stressful. But your boyfriend and his dad need you. What if your boyfriend goes and his dad dies when you's are away? Or if you go alone and your boyfriend has no one there? They both need the support so why not just stay at an inn or a hotel in a different city for a night or two. That way if something happens you two are close and you still get a bit off relaxation. Or your boyfriend and the dad could go if he is well enough. You could just lock yourself in the house by yourself and have a bath, listen to some music and relax, instead of going on holiday.

If not try and give the tickets to someone you know, that way you still get your money back and can book amother
Penvro
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Achida » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:23 am

Such a tough one.
I would wait until the day of the holiday, or day before if an early flight to decide what is best.
I know that seems last minute, but when someone is terminally ill, you just don't know what will happen.
Achida
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Jourdon » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:24 am

Just support your bf dad. He needs all the support he can get. Ask the company to reschedule another vacation.
Jourdon
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Cadyryeith » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:28 am

You could try seeing if any friends or family want the tickets, and then they could pay you back some of the money, considering the circumstances. It's really important, however, that you or your boyfriend don't get too stressed. Although your boyfriend wants to stay by his dad (which would be good if his dad does take a turn for the worse) it may do him good to get away for a bit. When my gran had cancer, my mum canceled our holiday to Greece, but then she got really stressed and depressed, and says now she could have done with taking the holiday, to clear her head.
Cadyryeith
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby Pasqual » Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:42 am

Think you're being selfish really. You're having a tough time? You boyfriends Dad is dying, of course he wouldn't want to leave him. Ask the company you booked with to change the dates and explain the reasons. You boyfriend needs your support.
Pasqual
 
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Boyfriend Dad Has Terminal Cancer, Should I Still On Holiday?

Postby caswallon75 » Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:20 am

Hmm that's a tricky one.

I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriends dad.

If I were you, try and imagine how it would feel if this was the other way round.

If your father, God forbid, was terminally ill and close to dying you wouldn't leave his side, and wouldn't you want the support of your boyfriend? How would you feel if you we're going through hell and your boyfriend took off in a holiday?

Think carefully before you make your decision. Be careful your boyfriend doesn't resent you for it.

In the bigger scale of things is a holiday more important than your relationship?

Best of luck to you and all the family xxx
caswallon75
 
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