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Are my senior parents selfish and unreasonable?

Lung Cancer discussions, another of the most common forms of cancer

Are my senior parents selfish and unreasonable?

Postby lee » Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:57 pm

My sister lives with my parents who are elderly and dependent on care. They do not get around independently. She works in the early AM, comes home and helps mom up and gets her settled in her chair witha meal and tea..gets dads braces on and rebanages and diabetic wounds ect, naps, does errands with dad, does all doctors appts and does dinners and all the laundry ect. She goes to bed at 8 or 9. I come over at 1030p and do the same thing but in reverse. I do some cleaning and repair of broken things ect. Mom has survived lung cancer 5 years out has COPD and still smokes like a chain, My sister cant have kids is 45 and is extremely lonely and depressed. I am 43 have 4 kids, a husband, rent our own house. I moved back to town to help my sister 2 years ago when she seemed overwhelmed. We share the duties. She is so lonely and has always wanted a dog. My parents are adamant that she cannot have one. My mom says the doctor said that even the hypoallegenic dogs will aggrivate her COPD(i agree a fur bearing dog would but not one that grows hair and produces no dander). Her chain smoking doesnt? She will give us all lung cancer and COPD like her with her chain smoking second hand smike but not a little dog to help my sister have some joy and unconditional love in her life? My dad says they will end up taking care of it, even though i have already explained that they would never see the dog except when my sister carries the little thing outside to relieve itself, and stay in her room UPSTAIRS for the remainder of the time, and while my sister is at work for up to 5hrs only at the most the dog can be trained to stay in a crate. It would change her emotional health completely to have something of her own to love and be loved by, give her joy, something to look foward to, and personal companionship, she is sad she will never get to have children(fibroid hysterectomy at 35). My heart is so heavy for her lonliness.They are selfish? Or am I asking too much unreasonably? She is not an irresponsible person who would leave the little guy for them to care for, she knows they cant. I am sort of enraged by their lack of sensitivity. She is struggling with finding any joy in her life. I told her to get one and keep it at my house since i live right around the corner! Input please.
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Are my senior parents selfish and unreasonable?

Postby aelfraed50 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:06 pm

She would be better on moving out and getting her own life. Your parents can get carers in to cover the time that you or your sister cant make it. She needs her own life. Imagine at 45 having to live your parents lives and needing their permission. I feel for her. Your parents are not selfish though, they are just old and set in their routines. It's hard for them to change and at their time of life they just need peace and quiet. So you cant blame them. Your sister needs to get out and get her own place.
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Are my senior parents selfish and unreasonable?

Postby rickie75 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:09 pm

Get the dog. Maybe it will kill off the selfixh old bastards.
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Are my senior parents selfish and unreasonable?

Postby therron57 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:26 pm

Your parents seem to do what they want (smoke after having lung cancer and COPD; eat what they like to cause diabetic ulcers) and treat your sister like a robot with no feelings or needs.

I think your sister needs to move out away from your parents. If they can afford to smoke nonstop they can afford intermittent home help.
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