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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby demothi » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:47 am

I am afraid that the very sweet seeming man Ive been friends with for 2 years long distance is in reality a psychopath.
He has several really good friends and I thought psychopaths couldnt have friends long term.
But finally his emotional reactions disturb me.
His fiancee left him 2 years ago. I wouldnt date him until he told me he was over the shock of her leaving.
we dated 5 times last year. we live 2 hours apart,,,
he came to see me the first 2 times....i came to se ehim the last 3 times. No sex, or anything more than kissing.... our dates were long and he seemed so exciting fun ...drove his sports car 95 miles an hour, took me speedboating. just fun times. but he did say something weird on our last 2 dates.... he made jokes that he can be 'mean sometimes' and that he was 'thinking about being mean to people'
but after our 5th date he left me alone in his city the whole weekend after our date... finally he IMd me while i was alone in my hotel room that he was glad to see me. and then added 'the next night after our date I hung out with my friends eating lobsters and I also was working on a new platinum blonde pet project' I was stunned to be dissed that way...........We stopped talk ing for 3 months..... he then apologized for hurting me...said he was a bastard... so we struck up online friendship again. chatted every day between 10/07 and 5/08 ... he then told me actually had been seeing a girl regularly when we had dated and had just broken things off with her. he then said i should move near him and we should date exclusively. I told him I didnt trust him and he had to earn it....He said yes he had hurt me and was sorry... so we made plans to date again... I got distracted with work and after a few weeks found out he had a another new gf already!
he said it was tough because im long distance and he got lonely...
she then broke up with him and he sai dhe was shocked. he also found out his fiancee who left him is getting married.
he leaned on me for emotional support.... so for the whole summer i have been caring... now I have found out my dad lied to me about having pancreatic cancer and got me to take care of him when he was actually healthy!..
i turned to this guy for support, told him how i caregavemy parent, they lied and this was his reply:
oh you're so sweet and caring.
[ wth does that have to do with my dad lying to me ?]

ANother guy I dated who is a good friend wrote to me 'damn, wow, that was horrible, what could he do to make things better for me'

see that reply seems normal..... the guy ive been dating seems weird...

and I am moving near him for work 10/08 so I have to figure out if he is just a hurt scared man who is was hurt and is scared of love or a weird narcissistic psycho.
demothi
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby elon » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:52 am

HE is not the one who is "just a hurt scared (person) who is was hurt and scared of love" << that description describes you!

His remark that "oh you are so sweet and caring" is how he picks his "victims"...You Dad too.
You are acting like a person that thinks enough sweetness and caring can fix mean people.

WELL WAKE UP!
From all you've told me this guy is a USER ABUSER, and he's got your number.
He uses and abuses you, hurts you, and then trys to make it up to you, because he knows you're too sweet to have the guts to walk away!!!!!

If you DON'T walk away from this, you are a FOOL.
He will cheat on you, he will lie to you, he will hurt you, and then soothe you, over and over and over again.
He's already started with you, and entrapped you like a fly squirming in a tangle web of lies and deceit,
which is known in mental health circles as
"The Cycle of Abuse"

You will clearly see yourself at this link:
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page5.html


And the ONLY answer is, for YOU to learn that YOU are responsible for the way people treat you, because when a person uses you, it is time to toss that bad apple out of your barrel. Only surround yourself with people who PROVE they can be trusted to act normally, and not hurt you.
If you do not toss out the bad apples, your whole life will rot and stink with bruises and pain.

If you continue with this man, the following will be YOUR life:
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/3059/wheel.html

^j^
elon
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby lindly » Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:54 am

If you're ALREADY having these feelings about his weirdness, and you guys are not serious yet, then I would say stay away for now. Go with your gut. You should be head-over-heels with someone you are dating, not worried that he's a psycho! Tread lightly with this man...he seems a bit crazy.
lindly
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby chevell » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:03 am

Yes, he does have a personality disorder
chevell
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby brant » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:13 am

oh boy, that's something. i guess he needs to get more confidence and show he's hornby for you, something he's been holding back, yes?
brant
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby joseph » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:24 am

oh boy, that's something. i guess he needs to get more confidence and show he's hornby for you, something he's been holding back, yes?
i wouldn't say he's a psychopath, but it's not worth it to stick around him, things are a little off. find a different prince charming
joseph
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby riddock » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:29 am

OMG! Do not go back out with this man!!! RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! He sounds mentally unstable. Move on and find a guy that will treat you right and won't lie to you.
riddock
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby dubhgan » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:44 am

He doesn't sound psycho, but he just sounds too weird. Too much sketchiness, it's not worth it.
dubhgan
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby willesone » Sat Apr 02, 2011 6:57 am

stop dating the dude

thats creepy.
willesone
 
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Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

Postby gwyr » Sat Apr 02, 2011 7:09 am

sorry but i dont think he is a pycopath but hes not very sesitve is he?
gwyr
 
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